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Friday, August 15, 2003

midafternoon

Music: "Hands Clean", Alanis Morissette

Mood: Cheerful

OK, we'll try this again. :) We just got back from Fresno not very long ago. It wasn't as bad as it usually is, except that I was starving. But that wasn't Fresno's fault. Usually, here is what it's like to go to downtown Fresno:

Open up hell.

Add ten degrees.

Pave an area about ten miles by ten miles, and add some tacky architecture, adult video stores, gang shootings, and graffiti.

Today it was not so bad. We DID have to go downtown, but it was not as hot as we thought it would be so that made up for that a bit -- plus we just got out at a military surplus store (did you know you could use an ammunition can as a transmission cooler in a destruction derby car? Me either) and got back in the car and drove away. We had stopped at Krispy Kreme, where I was a REALLY REALLY good girl and did not even get a latte, let alone a caramel donut which looked SO good. LT had brought money and wanted to treat himself and C to a donut. Then we drove through the only nice part of downtown, right alongside the big park they have there, got on the freeway,and headed back toward the foothills and sanity. And FOOD. I came home and ate a part of a barbecued pork strip left over from Wednesday night.

When I hopped on the scale this morning it said my weight was 3 lb lower than it had been yesterday morning. This is weird, since yesterday I horked out, ate three donuts instead of lunch. (bad me). But I also went swimming so I imagine I lost a lot of water. T says he can see a difference in the way I look -- and realistically, I'm down ten pounds; I suppose that should show a bit. But I don't feel like I look any different yet. At any rate I'm not pulling out my "medium clothes" (size 12s) for another ten pounds. Twenty pounds after that I'll have a little party and pull out my "skinny clothes" (not really skinny, they're size 10's) and take them to get cleaned and pressed. Good thing my adult tastes have generally run to timeless kinds of fashion, or else they'd be useless by now. (also, I'm not in high school anymore and I can dress however the heck I want. evil cackle.).

Speaking of high school, my class is having its ten-year reunion in a couple of weeks and I'm not going. I still live in the same town I've always lived in, and the reunion is about a mile from my house, but I just do not want to go. I'm just glad to be out of that environment. There are a few people and things I miss about high school, but none of them are or were part of my class, and if I want to contact the people or revisit the events, I can manage it without hanging around with a bunch of people who managed to do me enough emotional damage from kindergarten through twelfth grade that, even after ten years of freedom, I'm still suffering from some aspects of the complex I developed. (and you wonder why I homeschool my kids...) Also, my life is now. It's not ten years ago. I don't long for those days, I don't feel nostalgic about them, and I am never in the mood to put up with a bunch of people saying, "see how successful I am!!" and the like.

I'm not bitter. Really I'm not. But I'm not going either.

You'll have noticed that my name is hsing-mom, and if you have some creativity you may have figured out that that stands for "homeschooling mom". So why do I never talk about school? :) Because it's summer. In two weeks (from next Tuesday) we'll start our school year. Our school is a mass of contradictions. We follow a standard school year and say the pledge of allegiance and have school desks and do school every day, like school-at-home folks, but our approach to education is really eclectic and not-quite-unschooling. I think this is because I'm relaxed, and T is a drill sergeant at heart. :) So what we have is a good compromise. I've made my goals list for each child (C will be 4 next month and LT is 7) for the year, and done most of my supply shopping. C and I are looking forward to the start of school, and LT is not. Tough cookies, boy, you'll enjoy it more once we're actually in the thick of it. ;)

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