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Friday, September 12, 2003

mostly about weight loss

I weighed this morning and I was another pound down; I have reached -18. I have given up trying to predict what my body will do (after losing 11 pounds in two weeks and then taking the next four weeks to lose the next 6 pounds) but it is nice that the trend is overall downward. The funny thing is, I think maybe I was "starving" my system before, because on the day after I splurged a bit on a dinner out and probably ate 2200 calories that day instead of 1300-1400 like I usually aim for, that's when I broke through the plateau. But maybe the two things were totally unrelated. At any rate, I now feel a lot less bad if I'm at 1400 cals instead of 1300. Weighing what I do, and making it a point to get out for a good brisk walk at least a few times a week, I can do 1400 and still lose pretty well.



One thing that is totally different about this attempt to lose weight, from any of my previous attempts, is that I genuinely do not find it hard to make myself stay within my boundaries. If I plan a dinner out (having another tonight, on a date with T), I eat a little less early in the day, and I don't guilt myself as long as I am sensible and reasonable. And overall I'm not going around day to day wishing I could just eat what I want, and succumbing to temptation and ruining my motivation. I have times that I feel munchy, but I'm rarely very hungry; I'm satisfied on *far* less at mealtime than I used to be, and I don't feel hungry between meals either. At the risk of jinxing myself, I'll go ahead and say it -- the eating-less part is actually *easy*, which it's never been before when I've tried to lose; before I've always given up pretty early on. I don't know what the difference is but I like it.



Now I need to remind myself that exercise is important too. Last night's walk was the first one in a while. I really enjoy them while I'm doing them, and even the killer uphill at the end isn't ever as bad as I make it in my imagination. It just seems like the only time I have free to walk alone is generally when I am tired, or at any rate it seems more appealing to vege in front of the computer. sigh.


Yesterday I had a fat day. I told my husband this and he said that Kate Moss probably has fat days. I doubt that, but I understand his point. Then today is another "I'm slim, I'm svelte, sheesh, LOOK at yourself, woman, aren't you great?" kind of day. So far anyway. Which is funny because I'm not slim or svelte. I'm still "at an unhealthy weight, outside my healthy weight range" according my favorite online Healthy Body Calculator. but the contrast between how I was, and how I am now, is beginning to be visible. I'm toying with the idea of posting pictures in here of my progress. I'm a bit leery of it, not that it's likely that there would be any creepy negative repercussions, but in the unlikely event that there were any, they'd be pretty darn negative and creepy. I'm thinking about it.

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