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Sunday, September 14, 2003

weight, discouragement, and anticipation

This weekend my eating sucked. This will teach me to say it's easy! I slacked, and while I didn't eat quite like I used to, I certainly didn't count the calories and I know I was a bad, bad girl. Tomorrow is a new day (what a totally novel concept; I should trademark that, don't you think?) and I will be back to it. I am not terribly discouraged. I just scared myself a little because I saw how easy it might be to go back to my old ways. Until Friday night I had thought it would be actually difficult. Now I've learned my lesson and I'll really be on my guard.

My digestive system is not happy with me, either. Ever since my big dinner on Friday night I have been uncomfortable. Last night instead of dinner I bought a bag of dried apricots, which, let's just say, have always given me a fresh start in the past, intestinally speaking. Didn't work this time. I refuse to resort to prunes, I just won't; I hate the things. I'll just drink a lot of water and watch my fiber intake.

The good news is that the scale still said the same thing this morning that it said on Friday morning. I'll stop kidding around, anyone who reads this who knows me personally will just have to be polite and not bring it up, and what's it matter to the people who don't know me? My starting weight was 194. Now I'm at 176 and my goal weight is 150. As previously stated I am 5' 8 1/2" tall; according to standard weight charts I should weigh between 126 and 154 pounds. There, now you know, and the great thing is, I can't see you pointing your fingers and laughing, or hear your gasps of disgust, or whatever. So go ahead. You won't bother me.



I really don't have anything interesting going on except for my weight saga. I've been doing some web design work, a bit of reading, teaching, keeping house... nothing very interesting. Oh, and I've fallen in love with another piece of property. I hate when I do this. We are looking at buying/building our first house next year, except that with the financial stuff we're doing right now we could shift things around and do it now if the right place were available at the right price. For at least the three or four months I've been looking, there's been a listing on our local board of realtors' website for some bare land at a good price, and yesterday I drove out and looked at it, and I'm totally infatuated. A dirt road, which I love and other people hate, which works out well in a lot of ways. Not too many neighbors. Good location regarding T's work commute. Snow in winter but not too much snow. A road that is perfect for a morning or evening walk. Woods. Power not too far away. Now we are waiting to hear back from a realtor -- going to try to wrangle the truth out of him about why it's been on the market for a while at this excellent price. Is it just the dirt road and the brushing that needs to be done, or is there some deep dark secret, like, for example, you have to dig down 400 feet to hit water and then it's sulfurous? In all likelihood nothing will come of it. Which is why I'm kicking myself for getting so wrapped up in the idea of living there.

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