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Wednesday, March 31, 2004
long rambles about many assorted unrelated topics
My research has proved successfully that clumsy people are normal, and people who never make stupid physical errors are a bizarre anomaly who should be psychologically examined. Or at least, that's how I am choosing to interpret the results of my in-depth unbiased survey conducted earlier this week. Thank you to all who participated and hence made me feel more at home in this huge cold cruel world full of things for me to stub my toe against or hit my head on. Clumsy people unite! Perhaps we should make tomorrow National Stand Up Into A Cupboard Door Day to celebrate.
Oh wait, I forgot, tomorrow already has a holiday. Ahem. Nevermind.
Which reminds me that tomorrow is also the 30th birthday of the second serious boyfriend I ever had. Even when we were dating I found it appropriate that his birthday was on April Fools' Day. Ahem again.
I have always wished I was better at April Fools kind of things. Beyond calling my parents the first year I was married and telling them I was pregnant, which was pretty obviously a sham (and not only because I'd only been sexually active for twelve days at the time and twelve days is Too Soon To Know) I've never done much for it. I know people who hatch elaborate plans and pull them off successfully on large groups of their friends and I'm always a little bit envious. I lack the devious creativity to come up with things like that. Now my husband -- he is ALL THE TIME doing that sort of thing, but never on April Fools' Day, I think because he thinks of that as a silly excuse for a holiday. You know how there are people who are into things like school spirit and small holidays, and people who aren't? He's one of the aren'ts. But he'd be very good at it.
On a completely, totally unrelated note, I saw a whole flowerbed full of tulips exactly like the one on this page while I was on a walk today. It gave me a diaryland-addict kind of glowing feeling of rightness, and I narrowly escaped exclaiming aloud about it, which would have been stupid since I'd then have had to explain to my parents (who were walking with me at the time) what an online diary is, and why they can't read mine but the entire remainder of Western civilization is allowed to (although there are certainly other people who I hope never stumble across it, that's for sure).
Yet another completely, totally unrelated note (OK, if you must know, it came to mind because I was trying desperately to figure out if that last parenthetical statement should use who or whom. I think who is correct but I wouldn't stake anything on it): I was reading an article about that "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" book yesterday and I have found a kindred spirit in its author. I have got to feel fond affection for anyone who is as angry as I am when Hollywood misplaces or leaves out an apostrophe. I'll bet we could have a nice bitter vindictive ramble together about the way the English language is being dismantled and destroyed. She probably cringes whenever she sees "Honey, I Shrunk The Kids" at the video store, just like me. We should get together for coffee. I hope I could keep her from finding out about my parentheses addiction, though.
