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Monday, March 08, 2004

spring, and kid questions

This is the day which comes at some point during the late winter every year.

Humans: Um, it's barely March. And last week it was really cold. What's up with the eighty degrees? I'm sweating here! I'm getting in slap-fights over the shady parking spaces at Costco! This isn't supposed to be happening. I don't even have my shorts out yet.
Weather: What are you talking about? It's SUPPOSED to be eighty degrees now. It's the normal state of things from here till November.
Humans: Um, no. Last week I KNOW it was under sixty degrees. I was wearing a sweater.
Weather: Um, YES. But I'm telling you, it's spring now. I'm the one who'd know, right? S-P-R-I-N-G. Eighty degrees. Like that. Every year.
Humans: No. Wait, really?
Weather: [emphatically] Yes.
Humans: Oh. OK. Yeah, I guess you must be right. Eighty degrees, hmm. I guess I'll take my kids' shorts out of storage and put my sweaters away now.
Weather: [snickering, sotto voce] Sucker.

Foolish people of North America (that is to say, "me"), DO NOT BE TAKEN IN by the capricious weather. KEEP YOUR SWEATERS WITHIN EASY REACH. In the middle of April you'll wish you had, as your frozen purple knees knock together in your cute little khaki skort. I mean it.

My children and I walked two miles today -- a mile outbound to the park, then an hour playing at the park, and a mile walking back. The first mile is basically all downhill, which means of course that the second is all uphill, with the worst and steepest stretch being the last hundred yards before reaching our house. You can imagine the mood my four-year-old was in by the time we reached the top. Oh yeah. Now add more whining. Mm-hmm. Add in two or three more dramatic declarations of "I give up!" followed by a pathetic collapse into the grass by the side of the road, and I think you pretty much have it. Surprisingly enough, this is her favorite part of the day in retrospect, as is evidenced by her answers to the ten kid questions for this week (the website where I originally found this concept seems to have stopped putting up sets of questions, so I made up my own this week. Her answers follow "C"; her 7-year-old brother's follow "LT"):

1. What does the president do?
C: He talks.
LT: He rules the country.

2. What does it mean to vote?
C: Go to the fairgrounds when it's not fair time.
LT: Well, give our things to the president and then the government will get them and see what we vote for.

3. What is the best thing that ever happened to you?
C: A walk.
LT: Launching rockets and playing with Legos.

4. What happens at a circus?
C: Animals walk and people ride them.
LT: Somebody goes and goes on a wire and goes across.

5. How does a person train an animal?
C: By using it nicely.
LT: People do it like Grandma and Grandpa trained Droopy.

6. How old should a person be when he or she gets married?
C: Ninety ninety ninety. [but is Mommy that old?]. No. [So I shouldn't be married?] Yes, you should. (Nobody ever said a 4-year-old had to be logical, I guess).
LT: Nine thousand years old. I'm kidding. About twenty.

7. What would be the most fun job ever?
C: Spending the night at [her two nearby cousins'] house.
LT: Launching rockets and learning science and being an Awana leader.

8. What part of Mommy's job do you think she likes best?
C: Sewing together the quilt.
LT: Watching our stories and things.

9. What part of Daddy's job do you think he likes best?
C: Doing rockets. (Those are a family hobby, not his job).
LT: Coming home.

10. What is your favorite part of the day? Why?
C: Launching rockets and going for walks.
LT: Going for a walk.

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