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Tuesday, May 18, 2004

separation anxiety

This may seem ludicrous to most of you (OK, all of you. Well, not QUITE all) but I have just for the very first time left my eight-year-old son and his four-year-old sister at the home of one of their friends, just around the corner from our house. Always before the darling boy has needed his mom (or dad or grandparent) on the premises, but this time he was willing to let me leave for twenty minutes. We know these people, we know the kids, he's in good hands, but I'm nervous for that little guy in the biggish body, and how he'll cope. He needs to learn, a bit at a time, that he'll be OK without us, and he needs to learn to use his own mental and emotional and spiritual resources to get through situations that seem scary. Sometimes I wonder if I've created this insecurity with homeschooling, and with my baloney-to-the-idea-of-shoving-them-out-into-the-schoolyard-jungle-at-five-to-cope attitude, but I really think not -- I think he is naturally inclined to be clingy and that public school would have been a disaster in more ways than one for him. His sister would actually handle it better; she's a chirpy, confident little lady with none of her brother's social anxieties.

damn, I've only killed eight minutes typing this. Twelve to go.

I've recently switched to using Mozilla instead of IE. Not because I've become any kind of open-source anti-Gates purist, but because for some unknown reason my popup blocker was letting through about a popup a day, so I uninstalled and reinstalled it, and BANG, all of a sudden I was getting three popups for every page. I'd installed Mozilla months ago, so I could check pages I designed on it (and I know that some of my diary designs have been really impossible to read in it. I'm sorry. I just didn't care at the time. I'm reformed now.), but it is now my default browser and I'm getting it configured to fit my kinks. I still have to brave the wilds of IE to view a few of my favorite diaries **rdhdprincess**ahem**, and I'm slowly getting used to the lack of the transparent effect in my own design. (One has to wonder why the heck the folks at Mozilla can't get on board with this kind of thing). But it's worth it to avoid having to close four windows for every one I open. Plus I have that pristine pure feeling that comes from doing something against the grain, even if that's not the reason I'm doing it.

damn. Still four minutes to go. I think I'll go clean out the toaster.

* * * * * * * N E W S F L A S H * * * * * * *

I just called to have them come home and he requested permission to stay longer. Yay for my brave boy! Next thing I know he'll be asking when he can borrow the car...