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Monday, September 20, 2004
before and after
I think for the rest of my life, my memories will be divided into two stacks: Before the Retreat and After the Retreat. I am not going into a whole lot of detail -- some of the transformation is still so close and overwhelming that it's difficult to elucidate anyway, and somehow just feels private at this point. Suffice to say that I had my focus in the wrong place, I'd been struggling with a lot of little doubts that are gone now, and I am going to stop nailing my sins and my problems to the cross and then taking them back over and over. A few of you will probably find me really boring from here on out. And honestly, I'm a little bit sorry about that, but I'm no longer going to let my desire to have people like me keep me from being the person I am, or from becoming the person God wants me to be. I've realized that while most of this diary is harmless, most of it also isn't actually God-honoring, and some of it, I'm sure, grieves God. In summary: The Jesus freak is back. I've missed her a whole lot, more than I knew. And it's worth it to keep her, even if it means that some people like me less, or that I spend less of my energy on things I have become accustomed to enjoying, but that pull me in the wrong direction spiritually.
OK, let's see, who's left? hi. and hi. :)
In other news
- our cats are at the vet, FINALLY, getting spayed. And that's a hallelujah of a different sort. They were each sick over the weekend; at least, first one and then the other spent a couple of days being really lethargic and not eating, drinking, or peeing normally. We'll be leaving to pick them up in about half an hour.
- LT just took a really painful fall off his bike. No broken anything (thank you God), but we had to break out the Big Band Aids [read that with dismay and awe in your voice, like a five-year-old, for the full effect] for his elbow, which lost a couple layers of skin. He's watching "The Return of the Jedi" and secretly loving all the attention.
- I'm halfway through Persuasion and I have to keep reminding myself to wait to watch the movie until I'm completely finished. Don't ask why I'm so rigid about this, because I don't know. Persuasion is the last book in my First Annual Jane Austen Re-Read, and I'm at a bit of a loss for what to start next. I've been kind of hankering after Watership Down. We'll see.
- C's birthday just crept up and smacked me over the head. It's a week and a half away and once again I haven't worked out any party details yet. T and I will talk about it tonight and I'll call/email the invitations tomorrow.
- The weather finally cooled down. It is a positively GORGEOUS day -- blue skies, puffy clouds, cloud shadows, low 70's. It even sprinkled a little last night, and there were some really impressive dark clouds. I wish it was like this all year.
- We had our first really GOOD school day today. No scolding, no meltdowns, no struggles. I was beginning to think that those kind of school days were a thing of the past. Can we say "relieved"?
