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Thursday, January 06, 2005
rant, with asterisks
I just had an entry all typed up and it disappeared when I hit send. I think Diaryland does this periodically just to make my life interesting. Maybe they have a camera set up somewhere to record my reaction so Andrew can laugh. I should learn to be like most people, and type these up in a Notepad file so they don't get lost when that happens. It was an interesting entry too, full of candid emotion, with many asterisks. Because, you see, I don't want to actually swear in here -- I'm not the swearing type in general, really; with the apparent exception of talking in my sleep during dreams about faithless husbands, I almost never actually swear out loud, being more of the "DogGONnit!" type. But when my husband's boss behaves in such a way as to make all the words that usually scroll through my mind turn into variations of The Big One, I have to vent somehow. (Have I ever mentioned in here the fact that when I'm not speaking or listening to speech, I see random words in my head in various fonts and colors, and that when people are talking the words they say show up like subtitles, sometimes scrolling horizontally, sometimes vertically, sometimes showing up like they're being typed? No? Whoops, I think that BANG I just heard was the door slamming as everyone ran away from the crazy woman. I won't hurt you, I swear.)
What the ******* boss has done is that he has decided, thanks to his vast and immeasurable hero complex, that some work on a remote radio-signal repeater, which could just as well be done on Monday because it is not urgent, must instead be done tomorrow. Even though it's a day off work for both him and T. Even though it will be snowing and extremely cold and there's already six or eight feet of snow on the ground where they're going. Even though they need to start from home at 4 a.m. Even though their heated enclosed off-road Snow-Cat thing is in the shop and they'll be going on snowmobiles. Even though the total amount of snowmobile experience between the two of them is one brief ride. So basically, the boss is at least ruining T's day, and also quite possibly endangering his life, because The Mission Comes First. He is a company man through and through, I'll say that for him. I hope his privates freeze off.
I had another of those "anxiety attacks" today. I looked around a bit online and found information on ventricular tachycardia, and I began to think that was what I was having. Then I was talking to one of the other moms at Awana tonight (remind me never to go to Awana when it's been raining for two weeks. Any excuse will suffice. Children are intolerable in large groups after two weeks of being cooped up indoors. My hat is off to classroom teachers in the winter who not only retain their sanity but manage to educate kids at the same time) and she said that she had exactly the same symptoms, triggered in exactly the same way, and that when she went to the doctor it did turn out to be VT and she got treated for it and it went away. My episodes aren't frequent (four in a year or so, although I've had two in the past month) so I am not sure I'll get the little outpatient surgery for it, but I might actually (groan) fork over a copayment and go see a doctor about it. Someday.
