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Friday, April 01, 2005

I waited to type this until I was relatively certain I could do it without swearing.

Well, I can never again say that I have never received a traffic ticket.

Wow, it made me a lot angrier than I thought it might, to type that. Deep breathing, it's OK, life goes ON, Rachel, it's only a speeding ticket, it's only THE END OF A FOURTEEN-YEAR STREAK OF SMUG DMV BLAMELESSNESS, IT'S NO BIG DEAL, RIGHT??

Really. Um. Wow.

Anyway. I blame it on Verdi. I was listening to the "Anvil Chorus", and...

No, wait, it's all the cardiologist's fault! If I hadn't had to drive down there to return the stupid holter monitor...

Um. Can I blame this on my low iron? no?

Seriously, I decided as soon as I saw the red light in my mirror and looked down to see my speedometer sitting at 65 that I wouldn't make excuses, I would just be straightforward and honest, and be a good testimony, and all that.

That and I thought maybe it would confuse the patrolman so much that he'd forget to write my ticket. But it didn't work. At least I can do the traffic school online.

On the way home, C appointed herself my official backseat driver. "I will keep an eye out for speed limit signs, Mommy, and I will read them to you if I see them, so you will know how fast to go. Because I am a very fast reader." And she did, too. "Mommy, it says 'SPEED LIMIT 45'. Are you going 45?"

Then a car VERY nearly ran over my daughter in the Vons parking lot. I was pushing the cart, and she was walking beside me, as we walked through the lot. The backup lights came on, on the car behind which we were walking, and before we could even trot out of the way, the car bolted backward. I pulled C out of the way just in time, and was still explaining why when the seriously seasoned citizen driving the car pulled backward far enough to finally see us (both wearing bright red sweaters). "I didn't hit her, did I?" Casual as anything. I clenched my teeth and replied, "Not QUITE."

I swear, all I want to do tonight, aside from maybe a nice relaxing sunset walk, is sit here and hork out on chocolate and do something totally boring, free, and harmless. Transcribing mind-numbing audio files about printer technology never sounded so good.

Posted by Rachel on April 1, 2005 03:37 PM in rants | the round of life

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