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Thursday, February 09, 2006

Strange Ways to Find Me

Kristen posted about her referral stats, and that reminded me that I've been wanting to do the same here. Then T got called out to work overnight (possibly for several nights) and I thought, what better way to put off getting into that empty bed than to sit here doing this? The idea of T being gone always has a tinge of adventure to it, when I think of it from afar. As soon as it actually occurs though, the adventure pretty much goes away and plain old loneliness sets in.

Anyway. These come from my photo blog as well as my main one; the stats are for my entire domain (bwa ha ha!! My domain! Where are my minions? Do I get minions too?). This means that I get a TON of searches for wildflower photos. I hope I've labeled them correctly, or I'll be confusing a lot of poor folks. I also get found by a lot of people who want clapping rhymes, and by even MORE people who want to cheat on their homework. No, you will not find "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh chapter summaries for free" here, or answers to essay questions about Indian in the Cupboard or Izzy, Willy-Nilly or Homecoming or The Phantom Tollbooth or Of Mice and Men. Here's an idea. Go read the book and write your own.

There are also some truly disturbing (and/or disturbed) people out there. Really truly disturbing. Oh my gosh. Sometimes after I read my referral stats I feel the need to go scrub myself with sandpaper and Lava soap in the shower, or something. GO AWAY SCARY GOOGLER, NOTHING TO SEE HERE. And then there are the sad ones -- like Kristen said, there's a person behind each of these things and sometimes I wish I could find the person who searched for, say, "normal O2 saturations" or "prayer to conceive", "how to fall in love again" or "bedtime anxiety", "signs my marriage is falling apart my husband is very distant" or "teased for living in a trailer park" and tell her, it'll be OK, and give her a hug.

This list got really long. This is just a teeny weeny sampling -- the stats go back as long as I've had my blog here at livingdot, which means, what, back till last May?

1. "fly lady homeschooling" -- last I knew you were out of luck on this one.
2. "I'm going crazy pre-menopause" -- oh hon. I am too.
3. "seems to me shania twain has gained unwanted weight" -- oh please. Unwanted for whom? Somebody give that woman a milkshake. Or twelve.
4. "crochet marijuana leaf" -- oh my.
5. "does rachel smell" -- I don't know. Do I? Do I really want to know?
6. "time period of jane austen s the buccaneers" -- That would be rather difficult to pinpoint....
7. "pride and prejudice did it really happen"
8. "tarweed barbie" -- does she come with overalls and a fishing pole, or maybe a dirty face and pigtails? I'd buy that one
9. "free mom se*y legs pictures" -- oh man were YOU disappointed.
10. "cat's urine bleach and ammonia" -- I am not the only one! woo hoo!
11. "blue poppies portraits as in rachels favourite food for friends" -- I am kerflummoxed.
12. "overanalyzing our kids" -- is there a program for this?
13. "darth vader grocery fruit" -- this one was perplexing until I realized they were most likely looking for this.
14. "how to make pinch-pleat drapes" -- I knew I should have put up instructions for those. I meant to, but never did.
15. "real life photo of unicorn" -- um, good luck on that one.
16. "my boring life.com" -- I knew I picked the wrong domain.
17. "ear disorder sharpened hearing telltale heart" -- interesting theory...
18. "civilization III addiction hospitalization" -- dude. I thought the Ts were bad.
19. "stupid things a person does" and "really stupid things a person does" -- you have come to the right place, my friend.
20. "why is housework so depressing" -- it's that 'work' thing, coupled with the 'house' thing, and the 'constantly undoing itself every time you turn around' thing. Search no further; there's your answer.
21. Misspellings like "Luke Skywaker" and "male tranchlas". This is because I post things my kids write, with the original spellings. Who knew that that was the way to make it to the #1 spot in a Google search?
22. "Dickens Pride and Prejudice film adaptations criticism". This is the place to come for criticism of film adaptations, I'll grant you that, but that's one I hadn't heard of.
23. "why is rachel stupid"/"rachel is stupid"/"stupid rachel" -- oh dear. They're onto me.
24. "phrasal adverbs get from pride and prejudice" -- have I ever used the word 'phrasal'? I guess I have now...
25. "is pinch pleat drapes too formal for living room" -- I am the LAST person to ask this question.
26. "quiz Christianese" -- made me chuckle, that one did.
27. "babe in muddy jeans" -- at first, honestly, I saw this and thought of the talking pig. Which would be a more likely thing to find around here than what they were actually looking for...
28. "recipes costco chocolate mousse filling" -- if you find it, do me a favor and email it to me. I am totally not kidding. :)
29. "how do you know a girls is falling in love?"
30. "vasectomy vs. hysterectomy" -- oh, man, are you kidding?
31. "does rachel get things the wrong way around" -- I think so.
32. "tchaikovsky head falling-off hangover" -- words fail.
33. "kiddy crafts for energy" -- wait, to give them energy? do they need those?
34. "weiner in her shoes" -- when I saw this one, honestly, my first thought was -- a hot dog in her shoes? And I thought it was maybe one of the disturbed ones (I finally had to take the high h33ls photo down -- remember, my cute little retro b/w polka-dotted ones? because I got a lot of late-night foreign-country search engine hits for that one, and it started to give me the heebie jeebies. That was my foot they were looking at). Then I remembered this book review and heaved a little sigh of relief.
35. "proof potatoes explode" -- glad I could help.
36. "rachel's pretty feet" -- wrong place again. Definitely.
37. "rachel needs a life" -- as evidenced by the length of this list and the amount of time it represents...

Comments

Posted by: Maria at February 9, 2006 11:57 PM

Posted by: Rachel at February 10, 2006 12:51 AM

Posted by: Michael at February 10, 2006 05:09 AM

Posted by: Christi at February 10, 2006 05:24 AM

Posted by: mary at February 10, 2006 05:31 AM

Posted by: jenn at February 10, 2006 12:32 PM

Posted by: David Vogel at February 18, 2006 12:59 PM

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