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Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Rachel: The Owner's Manual
1. How can I tell if you are angry?
a. I slam things around.
b. My mouth does this... thing. It does the Angry Mouth.
c. My angry body language is pretty classic.
d. I'll eventually come out and discuss what I'm angry about but it takes me some time (minutes or hours, generally not days) to formulate my thoughts sometimes.
2. How should I behave around you while you are angry?
You can't win. If you act all rational and calm with me, then I know that you're just doing it to show your superiority (I get angry and you do not). If you mouth off to me, well, that's no good either. Actually a hug, and an 'I love you' can really help to defuse the situation. Also, once I've got those thoughts all formulated and ready to go, let's have a nice rational discussion so we can make up after.
3. How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally? (How is best to comfort you?)
Just be nice to me.
4. Are there things we should ~not~ discuss?
If there are you'll know when I evade those particular topics. (not really. but I don't like confrontational discussions with people in that middle ground between can-call-at-2-am and relative strangerhood.)
5. How should I treat you if you are physically ill?
Well, hmm. Make food for my family and wash my dishes. :-D (actually, with my entire immediate and much of my extended family living within half an hour of me, illnesses are pretty well covered. Just be nice, I guess.)
6. What makes you happy? (that may be in my power to grant, as a friend?)
Hmm. Paper letters. But I'm really, really bad about reciprocating, I'll let you know right now. Remembering things that I like. Inside jokes.
7. How would you like for us to recognize your birthday?
Just a 'happy birthday' is fine. (It's Christmas, so you get bonus points if you tell me Happy Birthday before you tell me Merry Christmas.)
8. Are there any standing categories of presents that would be inappropriate or unwelcome?
That depends on who you are. Nothing flirty from males who are not my husband. Nothing risqué unless you are one of the few people who could get away with that. Nothing "dirty" or with foul language or potty humor. Other than that, I'll be glad you thought of me. :)
9. Are there times of the year that are difficult for you? (please explain if you are comfortable.)
Not so as to require people to walk on eggshells around me or anything. I wouldn't even say hard anymore, really, just... poignant? Natalie was born on December 26th and she died on March 2nd. Her funeral was March 6th. The time of year when the almond orchards are in bloom in the Valley, I find myself thinking about her death a lot. Breezy days with cloud shadows and green grass do the same thing.
10. Are there important anniversaries that we should recognize in your life?
My wedding anniversary is March 19th but you don't need to do anything about that if you don't want to.
11. Who are the most important people in your life to whom we should defer when making plans on your behalf?
Making plans... on my behalf? Like I'm incapacitated? Or -- ooh, a surprise party! you're planning a surprise party, aren't you?! Definitely my husband and kids, and then probably my parents.
Comments
LOL, you are too cute. I too slam stuff when I'm mad (But only at home, not like in public...You won't find me like slamming the milk down on the conveyer belt at the supermarket if someone cut me off in the parking lot). So I take it I shouldn't be getting you that fake vomit I saw at the magic store for your birthday? Hee, hee.
Posted by: jenn at March 8, 2006 10:11 PM
I must not have ever seen your angry mouth.
Posted by: debi at March 9, 2006 04:01 PM
Hey Rachel. :) You're #2 answer (no, that's not potty humor - hee hee!) .... reminds me of the line in Toy Story when Mr. Potato Head says, "Prepare to meet MR. ANGRY EYES!" I personally have an angry chin. But that is SO not the reason I'm writing! Just wanted to let you know I'm still lurking and checking in on you every day. Thank you for my birthday message. I was thinking of you on March 2nd but we were back in the hospital overnight b/c of Timothy's bilirubin so ....wow, this should have been an email! Anyway, I did remember and did pray for you and T, even though I couldn't call. I promised Dan I'd be in bed by midnight tonight (which is why this is NOT an email!) but I promise to call or write soon. (Timothy's ok now, I think, but naturally things are still a little nuts as we're still trying to figure out life with four. :) ANyway, love you bunches!! TTYS!
Posted by: Susan at March 10, 2006 09:07 PM
