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Thursday, October 11, 2007
If My Head Were Not Bolted On, and other totally true clichés
This has been an amazing week for me. I had noticed maybe a few months ago how I seemed to be getting myself together a bit, and I wasn't kicking things or falling down or losing things nearly as much, and I kind of patted myself on the back a little and said, Rachel, you must be growing up. Good for you!
Now I am thinking this was a bit premature.
Last week on Tuesday I got my hair cut. I went to the ATM right outside the hair salon to get cash to pay the lady, because I am all organized like that, and I left my ATM card in the ATM, which I didn't realize until Thursday afternoon when I wanted to use it again. That was really no fun at all; we're still waiting for the replacement debit card to come in the mail and I am debit-cardless, and that is harder than you think when you've become accustomed to this cashless very swipy kind of society in which we now live. However, I blamed it on the fact that it's one of those archaic ATMs from the dark ages that holds on to your card until you're done with your transaction, and I'm used to the zippy ones where you put it away before you even enter your PIN, so my rhythm was all off and of COURSE I was going to leave it there. I bet it's all a big scam.
Then THIS Tuesday, I went to the post office right before they closed, and then right after they closed, I wanted to unlock my car. Except I couldn't, because my keys? Had been left in the post office. I begged a man who was loading a truck with mail out back to go inside and get the post office employee who was still lurking inside to bring me my keys, which he did, amid a hail of jokes about my hair color not being blonde. This was all very embarrassing and also not fun, but I blamed that on the fact that it was Tuesday and Tuesdays are apparently just not a good day for me.
Which means that I didn't have a valid excuse on Wednesday when I not only left my keys dangling from my ignition while I was in my music class at the high school (hi honey! I, um, hadn't told anyone that one yet! ha ha! Rachel so funny!), but I also managed to lose my wallet sometime between the moment when I was putting my change in it as I walked out of the grocery store before driving to class, and the moment when I wanted to add my Barnes and Noble membership to my Barnes and Noble online account at around midnight and I discovered that my wallet was not in my bag. And there's nobody to blame that on but myself, since it wasn't Tuesday.
I have looked all over. I have dismantled my bedroom and put it back together; I went to town (scanning the road and ditches for all sixteen miles of the route in both directions in case I had set it down on my car and driven off) and asked at the high school and even the store, where I knew I hadn't left it, if it had been found. I called the sheriff's department in case anyone had found it along the road and brought it there. I called the night janitor at his house (small town, everyone knows who the night janitor at the high school is) and asked if he had found it. I have begun the wrenching process of cancelling cards and all that fun stuff, which can't be good right now what with the whole "lenders scrutinizing our credit record with magnifying glass" home-buying thing going on. I have done this knowing the likelihood that as soon as I have called the last company and dealt with the last hassle involved in this hassle-laden situation, my wallet will jump out of wherever it is hiding and cackle gleefully at me.
This, honestly, is the kind of situation where I kind of wish I could boss God around (OK, if I could, then it wouldn't do any good because he wouldn't be God, but let's not stray into deep philosophical discussions right now). I know that He knows where my wallet is, right? His eye is on the sparrow, and my wallet is considerably larger than a sparrow and also more important, except maybe to the sparrow's babies. So wherever my wallet is, whether it's sitting beside the road, or in some unscrupulous person's hands, or kicking back at the bar with everyone's lost socks talking about the good old days -- God knows. Wouldn't it be nice if I could just make Him TELL me? I have asked nicely, but He apparently has a really good and important reason to withhold that information from me at this time.
Maybe it's so that I can reconsider my chosen career path. I wish I was joking, but I'm not. I mean, it's one thing when I lose my own belongings; would you want a nurse who, for all her gentle, skillful attention, instantly lost everything she set down? Who left behind her a trail of Room 103B's bedpan and Room 106D's medication and Room 115A's pitcher of water? Or, worse yet, who mixed them up? I'm thinking maybe I'll change my major to English. A scatterbrained librarian is a lark, and a ditzy, talkative English teacher may be the joke of the sophomore class, but at least she's not going to kill anybody.
I think I'd at least better stick to the general ed breadth requirements at this point, pending further smacks about the head from God. Right? sigh.
********** update! deet! deet! deetdeetdeetdeet! update! **********
We found it. It was on the highway. Apparently I left it on the rear fender when I got in the car after class. We actually saw it on our trip by in the morning but failed to recognize it, which I'm sure is some kind of object lesson for how sometimes God puts the answer to our problems SQUARE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR FACES and we still miss them. Because we did. By the time we found it in the afternoon, it was shredded to pieces and the contents had been spread over about a quarter-mile debris field, but we found a surprisingly large majority of them. So I can undo the "temporary closure" of our credit card account, and I don't have to memorize a new library card number for each of us. I think my driver's license is even still usable. Some of the other cards were so badly damaged that they will have to be replaced, but that is no big deal. I still feel like a complete and utter fool, but then, what's new about that?
P.S. T says he won't let me be anything but a nurse and that's that. He points out that nurses have systems and checklists and do lots of practicing in school before they practice on poor unsuspecting patients, which seriously reduces the stupid-mistake frequency, and he says if anyone was ever meant to be a nurse, it's me. So blame him if I empty 103B's bedpan into your IV someday.
Comments
Wow, a big haircut and ear piercing, that's a lot of change. C looks beautiful, she is growing up to be such a lady.
Sorry to hear about your little fiascos honey, hang in there. That has to be frustrating! And I know how difficult things can be without that silly debit card that is so necessary these days. You know, I have never seen any of the machines that give your card back right away. That is very cool.
Thanks for all the notes and inspiration. I adore you.
Posted by: Carrie at October 11, 2007 12:02 PM
Yay yay yay on finding your wallet! That makes life so much better. I'm sorry about your crummy week but T is so right -- don't let it get you down. It's all about the list, I believe. Heck, seems like everything is about the COMPUTER at the hospital these days, so you'll be right at home.
Posted by: mary at October 12, 2007 06:05 AM
Doesn't your card have a mastercard or visa logo on it? You can use that right there at the salon if it does. I thought I was bad. I will tell you one day of all the stupid stuff I forget; such as leaving a bag of sales on the counter at the restaurant for the world to possess. Or leaving my keys at the restaurant after relizing said action once I get to the office and can't find the keys. I've even tried using my door unlocker button for my car to open the office door. Many many more to share. But this is your blog, and wouldn't want to take away your sunshine here with my stories of forgetfulness!
Shea
Posted by: Anonymous at October 12, 2007 08:16 AM
I once found my wallet frozen to my driveway. It had fallen out of the driver's seat when I opened the door, then it rained one cold night and the wallet froze.
I think the losing things etc. is just a sign of being overwhelmed at the moment, and when things settle down for you (literally), those incidents will lessen.
Posted by: Angela at October 13, 2007 05:49 AM
glad to meet yuor page .
Posted by: taraneh at October 23, 2007 06:15 AM
I lost my bank card, my health card AND my kids' health cards last week. Ack.
Posted by: Beck at October 23, 2007 05:53 PM
