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Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Am I so white and nerdy?
I frequently refer to myself as a "nerd". Really, when I say that, I am aspiring to a level of greatness that I suspect I do not quite achieve. Case in point: I never got any higher than trigonometry in mathematics (yet), I don't play any computer games, and frequently the higher-level stuff in xkcd comics flies over my head with an audible whoosh. But if I take away my nerd status, where does that leave me? Then I'm just... a dork. A grammar-nazi, Austen-reading, socially backwards dork. Which doesn't sound nearly as cool as "nerd", which is why I cling to the inaccurate term as hard as I can. Here, though, is the ultimate test: Would Weird Al call me nerdy? We'll go line-by-line through his modern nerd rap anthem and find out.
They see me mowin'
My front lawn
Actually, my son mows my front yard. So this is 0 for 1.
I know they're all thinking
I'm so White N' nerdy
Lots of people did think I was nerdy. Or do. 1 for 2.
(Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!
I wanna roll with-
The gangsters
But so far they all think
I'm too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
I'm just too white n' nerdy
Really, really white n' nerdy)
Nothing to comment on there.
First in my class here at M.I.T.
Um, no. Had I attended MIT I'm sure I would have been far nearer the bottom of my class. Yet I didn't even attend MIT, or, for that matter, any university; only in my 30's have I even begun at the local community college. This one counts as two and I don't get either of them. 1 for 4.
Got skills, I'm a champion of D&D
I have never even held one of those freakish little gazillion-sided dice in my hand. 1 for 5.
MC Escher: that's my favorite MC
Hey, I like Escher! 2 for 6.
Keep your 40; I'll just have an Earl Grey tea
Don't drink alcohol; do like Earl Grey. 4 for 8.
My rims never spin; to the contrary, you will find that they're quite stationary
Definitely true. 5 for 9.
All of my action figures are cherry
I... don't have any action figures. 5 for 10. Slipping again!
Stephen Hawking's in my library
I think we have A Brief History of Time around here somewhere. The line doesn't say I have to have read it. 6 for 11.
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
I got people begging for my top 8 spaces
My MySpace page is the default template and almost entirely empty. Drat. 6 for 12.
Yo I know Pi to a thousand places
No. I only know it to four or five places. I AM SO EMBARRASSED. 6/13.
Ain't got no grillz but I still wear braces
I've never had braces. Dang! 6/14
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
What does this have to do with nerd-dom? Do hip people not like mayo? I do. 7/15
I'm a whiz at Minesweeper; I can play for days. Once you see my sweet moves, you're gonna stay amazed:
my fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze.
I used to be pretty good at Minesweeper, back when options for time-wasting on the computer were more limited (i.e. before I had Internet access). 8/16
There's no killer app I haven't run
This is definitely not true. There are dozens of killer apps I've never even heard of. 8/17.
At Pascal, well, I'm number 1
I have never done real programming. I should just hang up the nerd jacket RIGHT NOW. 8/18.
Do vector calculus just for fun
See above re: never got above trig. I do, however, do algebra problems for fun. But that's not the line, is it? Nope. 8/19
I ain't got a gat, but I've got a soldering gun
No. 8/20
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I cannot tell a lie: I do not have a favorite theme song, but if I did, "Happy Days" would not be it. 8/21
I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
Too much manual dexterity involved. 8/22
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I am pretty good at trivia, as long as it doesn't involve popular culture, which it always does, so no. 8/23.
I'm fluent in Java Script
If you call copying-and-pasting "fluency". 8/24. Only 1/3 nerd and going downhill fast!
as well as Klingon
On my list up there, I forgot that I have only ever seen maybe three episodes of Star Trek in my life, and I watched those less than a year ago. 8/25
(Here's the part I sing on: Chorus)
They see me roll on my Segway
Don't have a Segway; don't really want one. 8/26.
(I know in my heart they think I'm
white n' nerdy!
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy
I'd like to roll with-
The gangsters
Although it's apparent I'm too
White n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
I'm just too white n' nerdy)
(or... not, apparently)
How'd I get so white n' nerdy? I've been browsing, inspectin' X-men comics; you know I collect 'em.
I am so not a comic-book person. what is this, 8/27 now.
The pens in my pocket? I must protect 'em.
I carry pens in my purse or in my school bag but I have never owned a pocket protector. People in elementary school would throw around the term "pocket protector" when they teased me about my nerdiness and I actually had no idea what they were talking about; I never saw one in person until I was an adult. 8/28.
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
I do actually seriously heart my ergonomic keyboard, and MUST have one. 9/29.
Shopping online for deals on some writable media
I have bought writable media online! On sale even! 10/30.
I edit Wikipedia
I did once. They had the name of a local business wrong and I fixed it. That totally counts! 11/31.
I memorized Holy Grail really well. I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL.
Well. Not the whole thing, but enough parts that I am going to go ahead and give myself the point. 12/32.
I've got a business doing websites
Had one in 1998. I even hand-coded all the HTML. 13/33.
When my friends need some code who do they call?
Me! Well, sometimes. 14/34
I do HTML for them all. Even made a homepage for my dog!
Not my dog. Does my husband's car count? No? Dang. 14/35. There goes my streak.
Yo! Got myself a fanny pack. They were having a sale down at the GAP.
I don't have a fanny pack, although I did in 1989 when they were cool when more than five people owned them. 14/36.
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap. POP POP! Hope no one sees me gettin' freaky!
I like bubble wrap as much as the next guy, but I wouldn't go this far. 14/37.
I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour cream. I was in AV club
Our school didn't have one; N/A.
and Glee club
I was! 15/38
and even the chess team!
No. (I am terrible at chess; it's that whole "strategizing and planning ahead" part that gets me.) 15/39.
Only question I ever thought was hard was: do I like Kirk, or do I like Picard?
See above re: Star Trek. 15/40
I spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire
LOATHE Renaissance Faires. Well, not loathe, that's too strong a word, I guess. But they just don't float my boat. I am more a "county fair" type. 15/41.
I've got my name on my underwear!
I don't now, but when C catches up to me in size we're going to have to resort to this, I'm thinking. 15/42.
(They see me strollin'
They laughin'
And rollin' their eyes 'cause
I'm so white n' nerdy
Just because I'm white n' nerdy
Just because I'm white n' nerdy
All because I'm white n' nerdy
Holy cow I'm white n' nerdy)
I wanna bowl with the gangsters
I haven't bowled since I was a teenager. I was very, very bad at it then, but I liked it. But I would never particularly want to do it with gangsters. All in all, this would be a 'no'. 15/43.
(but oh well it's obvious I'm
white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
I'm just too white n' nerdy
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!)
As we have demonstrated, I am not. I am only 34.88% nerdy, according to Weird Al, who ought to know. It's like... like I don't even know who I am anymore. *sniff.* I think I'll go play some Scrabulous to cheer myself up.
Comments
(g) I've wanted to do this since first hearing the song, but never actually went through with it. I see now that I wouldn't qualify as a nerd, either. . . Though I have to say, I think there are different types of nerds, as well as different "grades" of nerds (from slightly nerdy to "Mamma mia, that's-a nerdy fellow/lady!"). You can definitely be a book nerd or a grammar nerd without being a Star Trek or comic book nerd. Cheer up! ;o)
Also, I think nerdiness may be at least partially a state of mind. The joy you take in playing with numbers makes you a math nerd more than the level of math you're doing.
I'm confused by the mayo thing, too. . . Maybe it's part of the "white" component of "white and nerdy"? Are white people supposed to like mayo more than other ethnicities? Personally, I'm not a fan. Woo hoo, I'm cool! (Maybe. By Weird Al's standards.)
Posted by: Michael at April 23, 2008 04:46 AM
(This didn't seem to work on my first try. . . Hope I'm not double-posting this!)
(g) I've wanted to do this since first hearing the song, but never actually went through with it. I see now that I wouldn't qualify as a nerd, either. . . Though I have to say, I think there are different types of nerds, as well as different "grades" of nerds (from slightly nerdy to "Mamma mia, that's-a nerdy fellow/lady!"). You can definitely be a book nerd or a grammar nerd without being a Star Trek or comic book nerd. Cheer up! ;o)
Also, I think nerdiness may be at least partially a state of mind. The joy you take in playing with numbers makes you a math nerd more than the level of math you're doing.
I'm confused by the mayo thing, too. . . Maybe it's part of the "white" component of "white and nerdy"? Are white people supposed to like mayo more than other ethnicities? Personally, I'm not a fan. Woo hoo, I'm cool! (Maybe. By Weird Al's standards.)
Posted by: Michael at April 23, 2008 04:49 AM
(g) I've wanted to do this since first hearing the song, but never actually went through with it. I see now that I wouldn't qualify as a nerd, either. . . Though I have to say, I think there are different types of nerds, as well as different "grades" of nerds (from slightly nerdy to "Mamma mia, that's-a nerdy fellow/lady!"). You can definitely be a book nerd or a grammar nerd without being a Star Trek or comic book nerd. Cheer up! ;o)
Also, I think nerdiness may be at least partially a state of mind. The joy you take in playing with numbers makes you a math nerd more than the level of math you're doing.
I'm confused by the mayo thing, too. . . Maybe it's part of the "white" component of "white and nerdy"? Are white people supposed to like mayo more than other ethnicities? Personally, I'm not a fan. Woo hoo, I'm cool! (Maybe. By Weird Al's standards.)
Posted by: Michael at April 23, 2008 04:51 AM
Eek! I'm sorry about all those duplicate comments! I promise, they didn't show up on the other computer, and I didn't see them until I moved to this one. Maybe it's possible to delete them? (hangs head in shame)
Posted by: Michael at April 23, 2008 05:07 AM
Ok! one should not be drinking diet coke as they are reading the part about bowling with gangsters!! ha ha! My dad had a pocket protecter. I begged for him to hide them when we went out! LOL. I have it in my box of things I have that belonged to him. it still makes me laugh! =)
Posted by: debi at April 23, 2008 01:24 PM
OK, don't feel so bad about not being nerdy. Nerds are boring. You my dear friend. Are a geek. And a dork. A dorky geek. My FAVORITE. I am not nearly focused enough to be a geek and I'm not smart enough to be a nerd, but dang it I fly that dork flag with PRIDE!
Posted by: jennifer at April 26, 2008 11:35 AM
