I'm going crazy; want to come along? Archives | Page 5 of 5
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Friday, October 10, 2003
gripe moan complain
Initially, on looking back at today, my inclination would be to say that it stank. But it didn't really, I suppose. I mean, there were a few negative episodes that stand out -- like my husband realizing at 9:30 (note: both grocery stores in our town close at 8:00) that he needed something sweet for his men's breakfast meeting tomorrow at 7:30 (note: both grocery stores in our town open at 8:00). So I have cinnamon yeast rolls in the oven. I had just finished baking and decorating (rather poorly) C's birthday cake. Poor T had been putting the new car stereo in our car (the old one died a spectacular death not long ago and took my 78th Fraser Highlanders bagpipe music cassette with it, may it rest in peace), which started out as a simple job but ended up taking about six hours and much, much frustration. Little things kept going wrong, like the infernal aluminum strip that is supposed to hold the stuff that's stored in our refrigerator door actually in the door, except that for months it has been popping out at inopportune times and spilling the contents of the door all over the floor. Tonight it seemed to calculate the absolute worst possible moment for that to happen, and let fly. Repeatedly.
And I finally gave up trying to like Lord John and the Private Matter -- it's not just that it's too sordid for my taste (although it is); it just kept refusing to pull me into the story. It was an effort to read every page of it that I actually did read (about half the book). I'm disappointed, because I really do like Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series. I think, though, that she took it a little too seriously when her fans told her to make her books as long as she wanted -- they'd read them. The most recent one in the series is just a little too sprawling and long, and this John Grey novel (which, of course, her fans are going crazy over because it's Something She Wrote) should have stayed a short story. And then I still wouldn't have wanted to read it, I don't think.
I promise I'll be done with the irritations soon, but I have to share one more, for which I'm sure I'll get some nasty notes. But I have got to vent somewhere, so I guess you can just fire at will if you so desire. But here it is. There are SO MANY PEOPLE who take their pets too seriously. I know that a pet can be a friend and companion, and in some cases these people don't have kids and I can kind of see how they get as attached as they do. But here's an example of what is, in my opinion, Going Too Far. A woman on one of my email lists had to put her cat down a while ago. Then recently she got a card in the mail from the same vet's office where she'd had her put down, reminding her to bring in the cat for a checkup (or probably, in the irritating cutesy manner of most of the veterinarians' reminder postcards I've seen, reminding the pet to come in for a checkup, but I digress). Her sane and normal reaction? She shredded the card and sobbed uncontrollably for an hour -- she could not even pull herself together enough to explain the situation to her husband, who, being of course unable to read the shredded postcard, had no idea what was causing this reaction and thought something unbelievably horrible must have happened. OK, now, look, I can understand being upset about that incident, but that was just too darn much. Come on. When my daughter died -- when the person who'd lived inside me for nine months, whose name we had so carefully selected, whose life was the subject of so many daydreams, when that wonderful little person was dead, and the hospital called about three weeks later to confirm an appointment, I told the nice person on the phone what had happened and she apologized a million times, and I sighed and grieved a little extra, and that was that. And I don't think I'm some kind of cold callous person who doesn't care. Who knows.
OK, go ahead and click the link on the left and send me a nasty note. I can take it.
OK, I'm done griping. Today was not all bad. The weather was perfect, absolutely perfect (as perfect, that is, as weather can be when there is no precipitation). It was a great day for being outside, and we took advantage of that. The kids played in the yard, and I folded and sorted laundry and then read for a while. And the bird across the street has been joined by a dozen families of birds, and they all sing so beautifully that I'd sit outside just to listen to it even if I had no other reason for being there. They've taken up residence in the yew tree just across the street from our house. They make a very nice counterpoint to the stellar jays, who sound more interesting than beautiful most of the time.
Mmm, sweet rolls are done and they smell fabulous.
Speaking of such things, another happy thing about today is that I am down another two pounds. This is a banner day, because not only am I halfway to my goal weight (22 down, 22 to go), but I also weigh what I weighed when I got pregnant for the first time. Except for a very brief time after the birth of my son when I dipped down into the 160's, this is the least I have weighed in over eight years. [doing a little happy dance].
Since I decided to give up on Lord John this afternoon, I started an Elizabeth Berg I haven't read yet. I love the way she describes the way I feel, or the way I would feel if put in her characters' situations, only so much more attractively than I could ever put it. And her characters seem as real as people whom you know better than you know yourself. I have to struggle to make myself go slowly with her books and savor them. The one I'm reading now is Open House. I actually started reading it while I was walking home from the library -- I felt like my ten-year-old self, walking along with my nose buried in a book, looking up periodically to make sure I wasn't about to run into anything in an embarrassing or painful way. I probably looked like a total nerd, but it's a wonderful free feeling to be an adult and not care about that. ahhh. :)
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Saturday, September 27, 2003
a minor household disaster
We have just been getting ready for an outing. Since C didn't get to have her party today, and she feels OK, I thought we'd go to the zoo and do some other fun stuff in the city, armed with Kleenex and antibacterial wipes. So we were getting ready to go, and LT had just poured a sippy-cup-with-valve of soda for his sister, when she dropped it on the floor. In case you've never done this, let me just tell you that it has a spectacular effect. There was a sprinkler -- a veritable rocket-engine blast of soda flying from the dining area across the living room. Ordinarily when we spill soda, we wipe it up and shrug because we drink diet soda*, which isn't sticky ("At least it's diet" is nearing catchphrase status in our household). However, this WOULD have to happen with LT's new favorite -- that nasty vile Tropical Sprite Remix, which isn't available in a diet version. So I had this GEYSER of basically flavored, carbonated sugar water spraying across my house. After three moppings I can still feel it on the floor, and the kids are watching You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown while I vent about the experience in my diary so I can avoid grumbling about it all day. ;) I will have to give the floor a few more goings-over before we leave, or we will come home to a houseful of ants. At least it's hardwood and not carpet, I suppose.
OK, I feel much better now. This is the kind of story I'm almost afraid to share with people who haven't had children yet; it may turn them off the idea altogether. ;-)
*Note: Please do not send me ill-informed, poorly researched aspartame-will-give-you-MS-or-make-you-grow-horns-and-claws-and-die-in-agony-DIE-DIE-DIE research stories. Thank you very much.
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Tuesday, September 23, 2003
sinus hell
In some ways today is really pretty lame. For a week and a half I have felt all sinusy and gross, and I am hoping that today is kind of a last-hurrah for that, as it's worse than it's been to date (this happened with morning sickness -- setting an unfortunate precedent, I fear, because since that time, I always expect any ailment to go away the day after it gets really bad, and I'm often disappointed). I have felt like doing absolutely nothing all day. We got through school, without enthusiasm on any side, to tell the truth. Then, I sat. And sat. And filled out a stupid survey. And sat some more, looking around at the wreckage of my living room like I had no control over it at all. Finally, I struggled upright, ate some leftovers from last night (yummy -- chicken cacciatore, I haven't made that in ages), and tidied up just a bit, while on the phone with T, who pretty much told me it was OK if I didn't do a whole lot. At least I hope that's what he said... I'm in kind of a fog. Don't you hate it when you bend over and your head just feels like it's going to explode all of a sudden? ouch.
But all is not lost. The kids are having a nice, fun day -- they just got done having a water fight in the front yard, where it is still way over ninety degrees. (hello, God, it's autumn now, just thought I'd remind you). They're being good and cooperative. And I feel like Silas Marner, looking at my lovely stack of twelve-packs of diet Cherry Coke. And the house isn't so bad, although I really do need to do something about the kitchen floor. Not now, though. Anyway, things could be a whole lot worse than they are.
With that, I'm going to go put up my feet and read something, I think. mmm. yes.
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Tuesday, September 16, 2003
bleak and gray... Fresno will do that to you...
yuck. What a day. I had to go to Fresno again. I swear, if you ever want to feel thoroughly stressed out, pick yourself three or four places you have to go on Blackstone Avenue, and then go to them during lunch hours. It's not necessary to space them out too much -- but let's say you have to get on and off the freeway twice, and drive at least two major lights' worth. If, I dunno, you have on a holter monitor and your doctor says you have to find out what happens to you under stress, I can personally guarantee that this will do far better than a treadmill would. Bonus points for adding in two wonderful but energetic and hungry children; bonus points also for spending more than you'd planned to spend buying supplies, food, decorations, and favors for a 4th birthday party, as well as a handful of school supplies.
Anyway. Today was not SO awful. Really it wasn't. But I just hate, hate, hate having an agenda and a limited time in any city, because things will go against you. I wonder if anyone has ever done a study on the contrast in per-capita suicide rates between small-town people and city dwellers. I have felt so gray and tired all afternoon that in trying to fiddle with a new template idea, all I could come up with was this bleak plain gray, black, white, and navy thing. I'll try again tomorrow. sigh.
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I'm going crazy; want to come along? Archives | Page 5 of 5
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