me, a nerd? Archives | Page 1 of 3
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Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Am I so white and nerdy?
I frequently refer to myself as a "nerd". Really, when I say that, I am aspiring to a level of greatness that I suspect I do not quite achieve. Case in point: I never got any higher than trigonometry in mathematics (yet), I don't play any computer games, and frequently the higher-level stuff in xkcd comics flies over my head with an audible whoosh. But if I take away my nerd status, where does that leave me? Then I'm just... a dork. A grammar-nazi, Austen-reading, socially backwards dork. Which doesn't sound nearly as cool as "nerd", which is why I cling to the inaccurate term as hard as I can. Here, though, is the ultimate test: Would Weird Al call me nerdy? We'll go line-by-line through his modern nerd rap anthem and find out.
They see me mowin'
My front lawn
Actually, my son mows my front yard. So this is 0 for 1.
I know they're all thinking
I'm so White N' nerdy
Lots of people did think I was nerdy. Or do. 1 for 2.
(Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!
I wanna roll with-
The gangsters
But so far they all think
I'm too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
I'm just too white n' nerdy
Really, really white n' nerdy)
Nothing to comment on there.
First in my class here at M.I.T.
Um, no. Had I attended MIT I'm sure I would have been far nearer the bottom of my class. Yet I didn't even attend MIT, or, for that matter, any university; only in my 30's have I even begun at the local community college. This one counts as two and I don't get either of them. 1 for 4.
Got skills, I'm a champion of D&D
I have never even held one of those freakish little gazillion-sided dice in my hand. 1 for 5.
MC Escher: that's my favorite MC
Hey, I like Escher! 2 for 6.
Keep your 40; I'll just have an Earl Grey tea
Don't drink alcohol; do like Earl Grey. 4 for 8.
My rims never spin; to the contrary, you will find that they're quite stationary
Definitely true. 5 for 9.
All of my action figures are cherry
I... don't have any action figures. 5 for 10. Slipping again!
Stephen Hawking's in my library
I think we have A Brief History of Time around here somewhere. The line doesn't say I have to have read it. 6 for 11.
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
I got people begging for my top 8 spaces
My MySpace page is the default template and almost entirely empty. Drat. 6 for 12.
Yo I know Pi to a thousand places
No. I only know it to four or five places. I AM SO EMBARRASSED. 6/13.
Ain't got no grillz but I still wear braces
I've never had braces. Dang! 6/14
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
What does this have to do with nerd-dom? Do hip people not like mayo? I do. 7/15
I'm a whiz at Minesweeper; I can play for days. Once you see my sweet moves, you're gonna stay amazed:
my fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze.
I used to be pretty good at Minesweeper, back when options for time-wasting on the computer were more limited (i.e. before I had Internet access). 8/16
There's no killer app I haven't run
This is definitely not true. There are dozens of killer apps I've never even heard of. 8/17.
At Pascal, well, I'm number 1
I have never done real programming. I should just hang up the nerd jacket RIGHT NOW. 8/18.
Do vector calculus just for fun
See above re: never got above trig. I do, however, do algebra problems for fun. But that's not the line, is it? Nope. 8/19
I ain't got a gat, but I've got a soldering gun
No. 8/20
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I cannot tell a lie: I do not have a favorite theme song, but if I did, "Happy Days" would not be it. 8/21
I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
Too much manual dexterity involved. 8/22
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I am pretty good at trivia, as long as it doesn't involve popular culture, which it always does, so no. 8/23.
I'm fluent in Java Script
If you call copying-and-pasting "fluency". 8/24. Only 1/3 nerd and going downhill fast!
as well as Klingon
On my list up there, I forgot that I have only ever seen maybe three episodes of Star Trek in my life, and I watched those less than a year ago. 8/25
(Here's the part I sing on: Chorus)
They see me roll on my Segway
Don't have a Segway; don't really want one. 8/26.
(I know in my heart they think I'm
white n' nerdy!
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy
I'd like to roll with-
The gangsters
Although it's apparent I'm too
White n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
I'm just too white n' nerdy)
(or... not, apparently)
How'd I get so white n' nerdy? I've been browsing, inspectin' X-men comics; you know I collect 'em.
I am so not a comic-book person. what is this, 8/27 now.
The pens in my pocket? I must protect 'em.
I carry pens in my purse or in my school bag but I have never owned a pocket protector. People in elementary school would throw around the term "pocket protector" when they teased me about my nerdiness and I actually had no idea what they were talking about; I never saw one in person until I was an adult. 8/28.
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
I do actually seriously heart my ergonomic keyboard, and MUST have one. 9/29.
Shopping online for deals on some writable media
I have bought writable media online! On sale even! 10/30.
I edit Wikipedia
I did once. They had the name of a local business wrong and I fixed it. That totally counts! 11/31.
I memorized Holy Grail really well. I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL.
Well. Not the whole thing, but enough parts that I am going to go ahead and give myself the point. 12/32.
I've got a business doing websites
Had one in 1998. I even hand-coded all the HTML. 13/33.
When my friends need some code who do they call?
Me! Well, sometimes. 14/34
I do HTML for them all. Even made a homepage for my dog!
Not my dog. Does my husband's car count? No? Dang. 14/35. There goes my streak.
Yo! Got myself a fanny pack. They were having a sale down at the GAP.
I don't have a fanny pack, although I did in 1989 when they were cool when more than five people owned them. 14/36.
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap. POP POP! Hope no one sees me gettin' freaky!
I like bubble wrap as much as the next guy, but I wouldn't go this far. 14/37.
I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour cream. I was in AV club
Our school didn't have one; N/A.
and Glee club
I was! 15/38
and even the chess team!
No. (I am terrible at chess; it's that whole "strategizing and planning ahead" part that gets me.) 15/39.
Only question I ever thought was hard was: do I like Kirk, or do I like Picard?
See above re: Star Trek. 15/40
I spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire
LOATHE Renaissance Faires. Well, not loathe, that's too strong a word, I guess. But they just don't float my boat. I am more a "county fair" type. 15/41.
I've got my name on my underwear!
I don't now, but when C catches up to me in size we're going to have to resort to this, I'm thinking. 15/42.
(They see me strollin'
They laughin'
And rollin' their eyes 'cause
I'm so white n' nerdy
Just because I'm white n' nerdy
Just because I'm white n' nerdy
All because I'm white n' nerdy
Holy cow I'm white n' nerdy)
I wanna bowl with the gangsters
I haven't bowled since I was a teenager. I was very, very bad at it then, but I liked it. But I would never particularly want to do it with gangsters. All in all, this would be a 'no'. 15/43.
(but oh well it's obvious I'm
white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
I'm just too white n' nerdy
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!)
As we have demonstrated, I am not. I am only 34.88% nerdy, according to Weird Al, who ought to know. It's like... like I don't even know who I am anymore. *sniff.* I think I'll go play some Scrabulous to cheer myself up.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
eclipse
Guess who stayed up really really late last night?
It was amazing, really. I went outside at 12:30. The world was as bright as dawn, and seemed brighter because of the contrast with the deep shadows. I sat in the backyard with my camera on the tripod, watching the eclipse, taking a picture every few minutes, and reading that massively annoying book for school (there's a mood-shatterer). T and the kids came out just before 3 AM to see the beginning of totality; by the time I went in the house at 3:40, the night was dark as any moonless night; the stars were gorgeous, and I had a hard time finding my way around in my own backyard, dark-adjusted eyes and all.
Here's a time-lapse video of it (didn't embed it because I could NOT make autostart shut off, and I didn't want all three of the people who read this to be blasting O Fortuna every time they went to my page for the next ten entries, which means, what, three months). It's not fabulous but it's better than the one I may or may not have posted and nearly immediately deleted this afternoon. RSS feed? what RSS feed?
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
a little help?
No news on the house thing. I think I should make a T-shirt to that effect, or have it tattooed on my forehead.
This post is, once more, about something completely different and un-house-related. It's -- a little strange. Bear with me. There's this guy named Howard Schatz who did/does this project called "In Character" with actors and actresses where he gives them a situation and tells them to pose accordingly. You may have seen his work in Vanity Fair (which, I'm sorry, but what a nervy title for a magazine about the entertainment scene, really. How terribly apt. At least they're honest) or in book form. Some examples (these are actually Mr. Schatz's and I am not going to use them):
1) You are a dedicated father who, with your wife, has just sat down to dinner with your 15-year-old daughter, who is defiantly announcing that she's pregnant.
2) You are a fashion designer on the morning of your big runway show, and you've just realized that nothing in your collection is ready or fabulous.
Et cetera.
What I'm wanting my Vast Blogging Public to do for me, if you all (3! there are 3 of you! woo hoo!) would be so kind, is to provide me with more of these sorts of scenarios, for a project I want to do. (Gee, I bet you could never in a million years guess the nature of this project.) Be creative. If I get a whole lot I won't use all of them, necessarily, but the odds of getting a whole lot are rather slim, so feel free to come up with as many as you want. Please? Pretty please? I can't offer a trendy prize or anything, but I will smile in your general direction and be very grateful. Also, you might just get to see me embarrass myself with your very own idea, and wouldn't that be cool? Oh, you know it would.
Friday, May 18, 2007
at this rate, this thing costs me about $4 a post.
I've had a lot of things going on; I just haven't felt like writing. And I'm so tired that I just used a comma splice in that sentence and had to go back and fix it. (Apparently in my own personal grammar-nazi code of ethics, a comma splice is a cardinal sin, but starting a sentence with "and" is just fine, and the use of parentheses is completely unrestricted. Hey, it's my grammar-nazi code and I can be completely inconsistent if I want to.)
So, without further ado, a brief sampling of the Things Going On mentioned above:
We took LT to the orthopedist today for that thing about his legs that I think I mentioned before. It turns out that his left lower leg is about one centimeter shorter than his right; I knew there was a difference but I didn't think it was that much. As long as the difference doesn't increase too much, all the doctor prescribed was a lift in his left shoe and a follow-up every year. If, in the course of the massive puberty growth spurts that are to come, he should wind up with, say, a difference of an inch or more, they'll operate on him. But that's not likely.
I left my wallet at the grocery store today. Believe it or not, that doesn't happen often. I think the only time in adulthood that I've left my purse or wallet anywhere (that I haven't blocked from my memory, anyway) was the time about seven years ago when I left my purse in a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant in Hollister, about two and a half hours away, so that we had to drive all the way back there in the pouring rain the next day. One cross-state drive with the family is a lark. Two in 24 hours, not so much. At least today it was more like two and a half minutes away.
I'll bet you think you know why I'm up so late, but you're wrong*. I haven't Librivoxed in a month, because of this stupid nasty cold and cough thing that has been plaguing me. It will be aaaaaaalmost gone, and then just as I'm looking forward to a nice late-night recording session, wham start the sniffling and coughing again. (At least it's not as bad as poor T, who is now getting over walking pneumonia and hasn't gone to work since Tuesday. He gets all the fun stuff, I swear. It's much more interesting to tell people you have walking pneumonia or bronchitis or a broken ankle or back surgery [him] than viral pinkeye or an ear infection [me.])
*actually, it's a transcribing job this time.
Oh! oh! and I've learned to knit cables! All my life I've thought they were this super-mysterious complicated thing, when actually they're not. At all. You should try some. They make you feel really smart.
Um, let's see. College. Last week I went down to the valley by myself and had my head examined took an hour and a half's worth of assessments in English and math. I had so much fun that if I could do the same thing every week for credit, I would. (I took the SAT an extra time too. I told everyone it was because I wanted to see if I could get a better score, but really it was because I had $30 to spare and I wanted to spend a Saturday in word-comparison and algebra heaven. There. I said it.) Today I went down and talked to one of the counselors for the nursing department about the results and Where To Go From Here. I did well enough on the tests that I can be pretty confident about challenging the reading corequisite for the English class I'll be taking (and really need. If the assessments had included anything about how to write a proper research paper, they'd have sent me packing to the seventh grade). So next semester I'll be taking music appreciation and (most likely) English. I'm so tempted to take some lovely (absolutely research-paper-free) algebra and trigonometry classes, with their lovely methodical equations that feel like listening to Scarlatti piano sonatas, but those will have to wait until I'm able to spend more time (and money) driving back and forth to the valley in the evenings. I'm taking my history final on Tuesday, and we have three more weeks of Awana and three more weeks of Bible study and then begins THE SUMMER O' BLISS, with nary an evening commitment (for me -- the Ts have Boy Scouts) until classes start up in mid-August.
Also re: college and then I will SHUT UP ALREADY RACHEL: I should have done the dratted orientation, instead of waiving it because I'm not actually taking classes on the campus down there. Maybe then I would have known a) where to find an ATM, b) where to make copies, and c) how to print the cover letter for the prerequisite-challenge application I typed up in the computer lab today, without looking like an absolute dolt asking random people for help. Debi: Do the orientation if you can swing it. I'll watch the boys. Or maybe we'll foist all our children on our unsuspecting husbands while we do the orientation together. Par-tay!
Saturday, March 31, 2007
a little help?
Our family needs your assistance. It's hard for me to ask like this, but I feel I must. We are having serious issues and your contribution is vital to our emotional health.
We need you to weigh in on a very important issue. (whew! you thought I'd gone all Dickens-orphan on you, didn't you? No, the aid we need is solely of an academic nature.)
OK, there's this song. Or was. By Nena. And everyone who was born before say 1980 knows it. Yes, I'm talking about "99 Luftballons/99 Red Balloons".
I'll wait while the wave of nostalgia passes. Are you back? OK.
T and I have a little debate going on. It's not a serious debate -- nowhere near the level of the does-every-object-with-mass-have-its-own-inherent-gravity one (which I won) or the how-do-rockets-propel-themselves-in-space one (which T won). One of us has always thought the gist of it was that these two lovers bought these balloons and let them go, and they got picked up on radar and via an enormous mis-step, it brought on World War III. The other (and I'm not going to tell you who but this person may or may not possess a Y chromosome) thinks that the balloons are just a symbol for our lost innocence, and that they happened to be floating by while the world pretty much ended, in a truly-on-purpose nuclear holocaust. I must admit that his idea sounds more... song-ish. Also that he was 13 when the song was popular, and I was seven.
So what do you all think? Am I a total dork? (Wait, don't answer that.)
Monday, November 06, 2006
it's a mystery!
We are attempting to use Netflix's free two-week trial to get through the entire second series of "Star Blazers" AND the entire first season of "Who's the Boss?" (because, of course, we are so happening). We don't watch enough movies on a regular basis to make it worth paying $24 a month to be able to watch whichever ones we want, four at a time, but"Star Blazers" is a series that T has been telling the kids about for years, and the library only has the first series. (my personal mental jury is still out on why they're called series instead of seasons. Did they take more than one year to air, is that it? Or is it just those wacky Japanese being inscrutable again?). Also, I have always had a not-so-secret affection for "Who's The Boss?" (and "Coach", too... hmm... maybe ONE month at $24), which makes me extra frustrated that only the first season is available on DVD. What is WITH those people?
Anyway. The mystery to which I alluded in the title of this post has nothing to do with anything in the preceding rambling paragraph. The mystery is this: How does Netflix get those movies back and forth so fast? They're just using regular US Mail -- the same US Mail that ordinarily takes two or three days for a letter to move from my local post office to the one 25 miles away where my husband works, the same US Mail that can't guarantee overnight shipping even with their guaranteed overnight shipping if one of the addresses involved is in my dinky rural ZIP code. So how is it that one measly workday after dropping that magic red envelope into a mail slot, it arrives at a facility that's a three-hour drive away -- which, in Postal Service time, should merit at least a two-, possibly a four-day transit for lowly ordinary mail? Do they bribe the employees with chocolate? My personal theory involves benevolent little elves.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
oh, my brain! the hurting!
Don't say I didn't warn you. (creative googling will find you the solution but that's no fun.)
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
I feel all validated and happy inside now
I always knew it. Punctuation does matter. See, people, THIS is why you need nerd-girls like me to proofread your stuff. It'll cost you way less than $2.13 million.
(Many thanks to Kat for MAKING MY DAY with that link.)
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Hello. My name is Rachel and I'm a libraryoholic.
I just got a lump in my throat reading a blog post about library catalog cards. You know that sentimental, nostalgic feeling that people have for the schools they attended? I have that feeling about our local library (or any library will do, really, but ours is best). I spent whole days there more often than not in the summers for many years, and after school I could always find solace in the quiet, cool place filled with my beloved books, where nerdiness was an advantage, or at least a non-issue. I could entertain myself for free all day long, and I did. I read my way through entire shelves of the Youth section, and when I go there today just the sight of the same plastic-covered spines sitting there in a row can make me choke up and smile at the same time.
Part and parcel of the library experience when I was younger was the card catalog. It's definitely convenient to have library catalogs computerized now, but I confess that I miss the soft thump-thump sound of a search through the rows of cards, the precision of the alphabetization, and the smooth heavy slide of the drawers opening and shutting. I tell my children about card catalogs and it's like telling them about cash registers that went ching-ching instead of beep-beep, or about, say, Atari game systems, or the Revolutionary War. All are equally unreal for them.
It's been years since my library had a card catalog and I'm sure they disposed of the cards long ago. Which is a shame -- or, rather, it's a shame I didn't think of this before -- because if I could get them I'd love to have the cards from the books I loved to read twenty years ago, or from the classics I so enjoy in adulthood (not to mention the really old cards displayed on this site; our library was only constructed in the sixties and early seventies so I doubt there's much chance of its catalog having had anything handwritten in it). Bookmarks, wall decorations, greeting cards even. What a missed opportunity.
However, this makes up for it in some small degree. Believe it or not, a guy wrote a program (thank you thank you) that generates a graphic of an authentic-looking old-style catalog card for any book you've looked up at the website for the Ann Arbor District Library. I don't think a printed version would have the effect I'm looking for, but at least I can have these (and so many others -- oh dear, I must pull myself away or I'll get nothing at all done today) popping up in my screen saver now:
Thursday, November 10, 2005
more Internet crack, and then some other stuff
Actually, it's Internet crack combined with photography crack which is basically just really bad news. Good thing I discovered this just in time to injure myself, so that I had a few days of inactivity to fill in anyway. Because OH MY GOSH I can spend all day there.
----------some other stuff---------------
I had a fantastic time over the weekend. I haven't blogged about it yet because there just aren't words for its fantastic-ness. Here's what I had:
- Six hours in the backseat of our friends' van, to read and/or crochet, while T and our friend talked. I could also join in their discussion, and frequently did, but unbroken, guilt-free reading/crocheting time is hard to come by, so that was exciting.
- Six MORE hours in the van with my friend Jenn. Jenn and I have a long and colorful history, and we adore each other, and we hardly ever see each other, so it was fantastic to get to have some time to talk and laugh and annoy the two men in the front seats, who just wanted to talk about Hank Hanegraaff and politics and what-not without a bunch of giggling and raucous laughter coming from the backseat.
- ALL NIGHT IN A MOTEL ROOM WITH JENN. We did sleep. But not until we had talked for quite some time. And I was afraid we would further disturb the men (in the next room) with our laughing and talking, but since they were out cold at 10 PM I guess we didn't.
- A really cool and interesting conference about creation and accelerated decay and radioisotope dating and the age of the earth and radiohalos and all kinds of other fascinating stuff. Also with Jenn, whose handwriting (we were taking notes. And, um, occasionally passing notes) is exactly as it was when we would write day-long missives to each other during school.
- About five more hours in the car with Jenn. See #2 above. Also, a really cool discussion in a Carl's Jr in Garden Grove, I think it was. I have never spent an hour in a Carl's Jr. before.
- HUGS FROM JENN. Jenn gives really excellent hugs, and I miss them. *snif*
- Five more hours in the car on my own (well, with the men in the front seat), but with less reading or crocheting because it was dark. Still, it was fun.
- Much exhaustion and disorientation (is it Friday? No, it's Monday) for the next few days. Totally worth it.
Throw in five count 'em FIVE meals I did not have to plan, cook, or clean up after, and I was (and am) one happy lady.
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