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Monday, January 17, 2005
trying to keep that nasty pit-of-the-stomach feeling away
I think Molly is really, really gone, as there was still no sign of her today. And to top things off, now we haven't seen Mary in a couple of hours; she went outside and hasn't come back in yet. My usual anticipatory worrying has begun -- if both our cats are gone, will we get new cats right away, or in the spring when it's kitten season, or never? We don't like keeping cats cooped up indoors for a variety of reasons, but if we're going to get attached to them and then have them get eaten by predators or killed on the highway or what have you, is it worth having them in the first place? And then I try to laugh at myself for borrowing trouble when it's probably just that Mary's having a little moonlit (and platonic, since she's spayed, right?) tryst with her buddy Max/Maxine (we can't tell; s/he never lifts his/her tail), the local feral cat. But I can't laugh. I'm not despondent; I know the difference between pets and people and I'm maintaining perspective. But even losing a pet is painful. And losing two in one weekend would be just downright depressing.
In other news: I reported in the 1001 Days journal about the progress with the paint job. T seems to have been inspired by my decision to actually do a project that we've been planning on doing for somewhere in the neighborhood of six months, and he started sandblasting on his Charger today (the blue-tarp sandblasting tent has only been set up for, hmm, three or four months now). Or maybe he was just trying to keep his mind occupied, like someone else I know. As soon as I stop the aimless rambling typing the yucky feeling comes back to the pit of my stomach. I think I'll go take a shower and then read for a bit (nothing like reading about the Reign of Terror for that "maintaining perspective" thing) before I try to fall asleep.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
giving my heart to a cat to tear
I must confess a weakness. My heart has been broken by a cat.
But this isn't just any cat. This is Molly, who was originally supposed to be C's but who adopted LT early on. She would sleep with him, wrapped around his head like a hat. This boy who wipes off kisses because he "doesn't like to feel people's mouths" would allow Molly to lick his head all night, like he was one of her kittens. We thought Molly was going to die once; she was lethargic and sick. But she got better, and we were all, even T, so, so glad.
We haven't seen Molly since yesterday afternoon. She never came in and slept with LT in the night. We looked hard for her today, all of us; we walked the neighborhood knocking on doors; I went up and down the highway looking for her little body. I've checked places where she could have been trapped four and five times. She seems to be totally gone. We have a teeny bit of hope that she may turn up yet, but personally, I've already started to grieve.
We'll miss you, little kitty.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
moving day
(originally posted at blogger)
I feel all dirty and guilty, going behind Diaryland's back like this. But the fact is that you can get the same stuff here for free that you get for $55 a year at Diaryland, except the stats tracking. And apparently except for the "actually being able to post when you want to" part. Since it just took literally fifteen minutes for this add-an-entry page to show up. Still and all, I will give it a little try.
There's been nothing of note going on this week in our household. I did forget to mention that we put our Christmas tree and decorations (such as they are) up on the day after Thanksgiving, as is our tradition. This is the first time our cats have encountered a Christmas tree. For the first two days they didn't even notice, but then, um, they did. So until they figure out that touching an ornament=tiny smack on my cute little nose, they can't be left alone in the house with it. It is like having toddlers.
Also, I am back on my hardcore diet, because the scale was starting to creep in the wrong direction, and I knew if I didn't get it in hand it would be leaping and cavorting into higher and higher numbers pretty soon. So. This means I spend the majority of every afternoon having to verbally remind myself to get out of the kitchen and go drink some water. It also means that I'm back to going through four or five cans of diet soda a day. I was so hopped up on diet Cherry Coke last night that I couldn't sleep until after midnight, even though I went to bed at the virtuous hour of ten-thirty.
And I'm whizzing through the Little House books. I am finding they're great for reading during the winter. Also that I can read two in one day if I neglect the laundry, and hey, what's new about that?
by the way. IT IS DECEMBER AUGH. Just thought I'd share.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
thank you kitty. also plumbing. and other stuff.
Our bigger, more aggressive cat has strong hunting instincts. However, due to the dearth of mice at her location, she's turned to June bugs. And I hate Junebugs. So I will leave you to imagine my reaction when she hops up on our bed and offers me an enormous, twitching, oozing, spiky-legged, furry-antennaed specimen, like a gift.
Also, our plumbing (actually the town sewer system) is freaking out again. It happens when we get a lot of rain. Last spring we called a plumber, and he and the public utilities people passed the buck back and forth like it was some kind of new rainy-day elementary-school game. So today, when the washer drained onto the utility-room floor instead of into the sewer system like it's supposed to, I took matters into my own hands, and went out and checked the sewage access myself, while it was (here's a brainwave for the public utilities people) actually still raining. And lo and behold the pipe was full to the brim of rainwater, along with a lot of other nasty stuff. THEN I called them, told them it was definitively their problem, and supposedly they're going come out as soon as possible. I've no idea what they're going to be able to do about the situation, though. The water and sewer systems in this town were outdated in the forties when this development was built.
Dawn got me thinking yesterday about things I've lost. I started to make a mental list and I know I'm forgetting a lot of things, or blocking them out, more likely. But here are a few memorable ones.
- My high-school class ring. Last time I absolutely knew I had it was when I got engaged (October of 1993). The first time I missed it and absolutely couldn't find it was when I got back from my honeymoon (March of 1994). So there are six months during which, at some point, it vanished into thin air. For years after the wedding I would remember yet another place where I thought maybe I remembered setting it aside to keep it safe; I would check that spot next time I was at my parents', and I would be wrong. Finally I gave up. Old habits die hard, though; the other day I found myself wondering if Mom and Dad had ever had the traps out of their drains since then. Nevermind that the house was new when we moved in, and the drain covers have all been intact the entire time; the brain of a chronic thing-loser doesn't care about things like that.
- A ring my mom gave me in high school. This one makes me just sick. The ring wasn't worth much monetarily, but my mom bought it for me when she was on a work-related trip, and brought it home and gave it to me during one of the rare periods of my adolescence when we were just not getting along at all. I was so touched by the gesture, and then I lost the ring not two weeks later at a beach by the river, when I went there with "friends" late at night (that whole night was a total disaster). The next day I went back and looked for it for hours, but it was gone.
- A Zip-loc bag of crochet squares. This is the biggie. This is the item that we are still kind of actively looking for, because it just HAS to be somewhere, a gallon ziploc bag full to bursting with six months' worth of work doesn't just disappear. Except apparently it does.
Like I said, I know there are more things for this list. Someday when I die I will march straight up to God and ask Him where the vast repository is for all this kind of stuff that people lose and never find again. Because surely at least He must know.
Yesterday I was looking over my shoulder to back up while I was driving, and my neck totally spazzed. The pain got worse for an hour or so until I just couldn't move my head at all. So I spent the day lying around on a heating pad, reading. You may or may not recall that Sunday afternoon was spent the same way, minus the heating pad. Interestingly enough, one day of lying around leisurely plowing through a library book feels pleasantly decadent. Two days feels like I'm a lazy bum who needs to get off her couch and get something done, for crying out loud. Who knew my laziness tolerance would be quite so low? I've always craved a week where I could just do whatever I wanted, that being mostly sitting around and reading. And yet I get the opportunity and I can't even last two days without getting fidgety. Another of life's little dreams destroyed. **sigh**
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
why I won't get anything done today
How could I displace this?
this is the second new entry in about fourteen hours; don't miss the last one
Thursday, April 29, 2004
cat + laser pointer + Jennifer Cruisie book
I swear that now that we have Molly and Mary, I'm not going to fill my diary with inane kitten stories, or insights about purring on laps and somnolent contentment and what else do you need and what all. I'm not. But dang, it seems like God invented cats with laser pointers in mind, doesn't it? Cat + laser pointer = me narrowly escaping peeing myself laughing. I always have been easily amused.
I just finished reading Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie. Actually, I got it from the library yesterday, and I read it yesterday afternoon and evening, and, well, much of the night, too, if you really must know. (Jennifer Crusie is like that). Anyway, this book was recommended to me by a source I trust, and she was right; I obviously enjoyed it well enough to have a hard time putting it down. One thing I'm not sure she was right about, though, is that the book would change my perspective about dieting. It didn't so much. You'd have to read it to know exactly what I'm talking about. So please do -- go check it out of the library or pick it up at your local independent bookstore or Barnes and Noble or whatever, and read it, and tell me how realistic you think it is. It's not Tolstoy or Dickens but still, a book discussion is a book discussion! :)
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Monday, April 26, 2004
meet Molly and Mary
Doing what cats do best
We finally did it. Furry pets have invaded our household. Funny, this is the first time I've had a real pet since having children and it's just not quite the same -- yet anyway. I'm looking forward to having them cuddle up with me while I read, though. And of course the kids are being their characteristic selves with them: LT making them a bed, figuring out the best place for their food and litter, and wondering if we should get them flea collars; C having to be constantly reminded not to terrorize them with friendliness or else, no matter how much she's just doing it because she loves them, they'll avoid her like the four-year-old plague (like her grandparents' cats do, but then, they've known her since she was much younger and hence much more frightening to those of the feline persuasion).
Now I get to childproof all over again. Please tell me again why I did this?
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